If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

I've noticed that with time I become quieter and quieter (some may disagree), but perhaps I'm starting to learn the lesson if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Although many times over I think a lot of nice things and don't say them out loud which is a shame.

Many people I admire from afar the accomplishments I see such as walking on the track each day for their own health, someone making a wise choice in a restaurant when they don't know I'm there or simply someone out for a run in the trails I love seeing people moving, living and loving life. I wish more often I would tell them so. Perhaps I'm hitting the six month slump but I just feel like I don't have it to give freely lately, no fight left, no heart or passion to give to others. I have enough for myself and family but past that it is a struggle.

I think a lot of good things, I also think a lot of bad things you could say. Maybe I should work harder, fight harder for things in my life but I don't. My attitude is: life shall unfold as it is meant to be because after last year there isn't much fight left. I don't need to be right, I don't want to be validated and I just am enjoying existing. 

There is still a lot of joy in simple things such as the sun rising in the morning, watching clients sweat and playing catch with my kids. This slow down that has been imposed partly by my own choosing and partly as the ebb and flow of training in summer time when everyone heads outdoors and it has been wonderful but underneath there is still a subtle tinge of sadness. And you know what sometimes it's okay to be sad we all have those days.

They say after six months is when it gets hard; I know this and I have felt it before whoever "they" is would be correct six months after a major life change is always when the floor falls out from under you. Fortunately, at the six month stage I have wonderful plans made with people I love and adventures I never dreamed of twenty years ago when I believed you just got married, gave up and became trapped in your own life. 

If anything I have learned to be adventurous as you never know when you won't wake up. Enjoy each day, explore life like a child with wonder and say I Love You to everyone that needs to know often. 

Sitting down at my computer today I have felt the need to write for a while but just couldn't muster the idea of what it would be...this is what came. Obviously it has sat unabated for a while but when I checked it has been nearly three week since I have wrote although it felt like yesterday. The weather has been good hiking or being outside on the deck listening to the frogs has felt much more important.