Comfort in life is as hard to find as Goldilocks and her porridge. Too hot, too cold or just right. It seems that satisfaction is the same for most. No matter what we do or try to do we find a way to admonish ourselves that we could have done it better.
"Gee, you look nice today I love that shirt"
"Oh this old thing, it is too big, I look fat in it and the colour is all wrong"
It seems we are programmed to be humble in all the wrong ways, as though we have to cut ourselves down another level if someone compliments us. When is it okay to just say thanks, I like this shirt too.
Instead we make up a proliferation of excuses why we still aren't good enough even if others see something positive.
I have caught myself doing it previously until I read The Four Agreements. Being impeccable with your word doesn't mean you speak with flawless language or spelling it implies that you speak kindly to yourself and others. When someone gives you a compliment you simply say thank you instead of throwing it back in their face with a thousand reasons why it isn't good enough.
Imagine someone gives you a wonderful gift and you rip it open and throw it in the garbage right in front of them, I don't believe I would give that person gifts of any sort again. When you constantly battle to prove to others about how imperfect you really are, the compliments slow and people are less likely to comment at all. Not that you have to take people's opinions as your own but enjoy if someone compliments you, just don't expect it. Expectation is the mother-ship of all fear.
If you can wrap your thought process around it when someone gives you a gift learn to say thank you instead of proving how flawed you are. We all need a little boost in our own lives as well and the easiest way to start is by helping others feel better about themselves. Dole out a compliment once in a while, not a fake one but when you notice something special about someone's manner or appearance be sure you tell them about it. And when they comeback with all the reasons that it's not great just smile and say "I must be blind then it is just my opinion".
Years ago from generations of "modest" people in my family they all said they hated having their picture taken and that they didn't photgraph well even to the point of hiding from the camera. Great, let's deprive future generations from seeing a picture of their great great grandmother that they can be proud of or carry any legacy with. Myself I can't find very many pictures of my family from back them but that was before the digital age and ease of good pictures.
The minute I changed my mindset (See rule that applies: If you change EVERYTHING will change with you. Jim Rohn) and decided that I would take good pictures guess what? Great pictures. No more dower, half smiling, dork photos but real honest to goodness photographs. Who knew?
It's not how you look in a picture, it's what you project into it.
Comfort in our own skin is the hardest comfort of all to discover. It's like finding that great spot on the couch where everything is just right...
Today, go easy on yourself. Give someone else a compliment (heartfelt). Recieve them with dignity. Smile and fake it in your pictures. Fake it long enough and eventually you will believe it yourself.
My favorite saying is: Fake it til you make it. On our hike to Kinney Lake in the above picture my son started to waiver in his belief that he would get there and he repeated over and over fake it until you make it and guess what? He made it. And you can to.
I Live Life Now,