Stop Saying STOP!!

Posted in i live life now blog

Today's blog may not be about fitness per say but it is about empowerment. Just saying we have to stop doing things is not enough.

This thought stemmed from reading over and over and over the "Stop bullying" propoganda that is everywhere whether Facebook, tv, schools etc it is rampant. Saying stop bullying is the equivilent to say stopping a freight train without brakes, it's not going to happen.

Let's reflect on past history, there always has and always will be someone who wants a position of power and prowess through making others feel small, period. It is not going to "stop".

What can change is you, your re(action) to this and how you allow people to treat you. In kindergarten I'll never forget my 5 year old son who if any of you know seems pretty meek and mild mannered. He had a kid in grade three by the t-shirt ready to punch him. Whoa...I was appauled that he did this as I was parent helper that day but from a young age we have told our kids over and over: "If you don't start it but you stand up for yourself you will never get in trouble from us, if you start it be worried to come home."

As I ran over to stop the carnege with the teacher I asked him what he was doing and he said that this kid threatened his best friend and was going to hurt him so he stood up to him. Wow! Kindergarten taking on a grade three kid for his best buddy. Yup, I was proud.

Start teaching our kids to not take "bullying" from others, start teach ourselves to not take garbage from others in our life, pick people who support you not belittle you and start teaching kids that they don't have to believe everything they are told by others including teachers or adults. Many a kid was told they were not going to be something and that was proven wrong. Whose life is it to define anyways? Ours and ours alone no one else!

It's the same with health and fitness; just saying stop eating this to yourself is self-defeating. Instead empower yourself by saying I will start doing _________. It is far more beneficial to start something and feel as though you are adding to your life instead of taking away something. That's why I used to joke that instead of working out it should be called a "funin" cause who doesn't want more fun in their life? We all do!

Let's start teach our kids and ourselves that it's okay not to fit into the norm and we don't have to be punished for it, start teaching kids and ourselves to spread kindness. The people in the world who treat others badly don't have this support system to help them realize their actions are painful to others and they even think it's funny. We can blame parents all day long but at the end of the day it comes down to the respect we want to have towards ourselves. 

I read The Mastery Of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz and it changed how I thought immensely about my interaction with others. When someone feels bad inside it is akin to being full of poison that is killing you, the easiest way to get rid of the poison is to share it with someone else so you can release the load and feel a little better. So, if the poison is verbal then you spew it out to release it and someone else puts it in their data bank and feels bad by taking the poison in. 

If you realize when others say mean things it is to make themselves feel better you put on your armor and say not today, I am not taking on your poison! It is all about them anything that people say is their perspective, their point of view and it is your choice to agree with them or not. 

Kids (adults as well), some people have a good home life, some kids just like thinking their tough and better than others by saying and doing mean things. YOU have the power to tell them no you don't, not today am I taking your poison from you.

It gets wearing and grinding on you as I remember being terrified to ride the bus in Grade 6 when a Grade 9 was picking on me, scratching me, swearing at me and I was miserable. I hid trying to not ride the bus and was always relieved when she wasn't on. Begging my mom to drive me in but that never solved the problem. One day I just had it and stood up to her, she tried and tried to egg me on but I just stood my ground and it stopped. She had no more gratification from it. I felt like it was sink or swim and I was not going to sink that is just my nature.

Life is full of "bullies" I really dislike that word because it implies we are powerless against them. Many are on stress leave from work due to bullying, life will always be full of people trying to influence you with their power or strength.

The definition of bully is:

a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

If we agree with bullies that we are "weaker" than them then they have won. It is a battle of wills and sometimes you may feel trapped but you always have a choice. Perhaps it's not the easiest choice but we always have a choice.

Start choosing to believe in you, start putting on your armor and start realizing it has nothing to do with you when others are mean. It is a long slow process to do this but it is your only hope!


I Live Life Now,

Lisa Stocking





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